Revolutionary Computer Term Usage
Rumored to have been hatched by Cro-Magnan engineers changing the first set of vacuum tubes on the original flint-and-twig version of ENIAC, most of this most ancient of jokes about the world’s fastest developing industry astonishingly still applies.
Software Engineering Glossary
Defining Computer Terms From a “Marketing” Point of View
ALL NEW — The software is not compatible with previous versions.
ADVANCED DESIGN — Upper management doesn’t understand it.
BREAKTHROUGH — It nearly booted on the first try.
NEW — It comes in different colors from the previous version.
DESIGN SIMPLICITY — It was developed on a shoe-string budget.
EXCLUSIVE — We’re the only ones who have the documentation.
FIELD TESTED — Manufacturing doesn’t have a test system.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION — All parameters are hard coded.
FUTURISTIC — It only runs on the next-generation supercomputer.
HIGH ACCURACY — All the directories compare.
IT’S HERE AT LAST — We’ve released a 26-week project in 48 weeks.
MAINTENANCE FREE — It’s impossible to fix.
MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS — It compiles without errors.
PERFORMANCE PROVEN — It works through beta test.
REVOLUTIONARY — The disk drives go round and round.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED — We’ll send you another copy if it fails.
STOCK ITEM — We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably.
UNMATCHED — It’s almost as good as the competition.
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE — Nothing ever ran this slow before.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT — We finally got one to work.
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