Revolutionary
Computer Term Usage
Rumored to have been
hatched by Cro-Magnan engineers changing the first set of vacuum
tubes on the original flint-and-twig version of ENIAC, most of
this most ancient of jokes about the world's fastest developing
industry astonishingly still applies.
Software Engineering Glossary
or
Defining Computer Terms From a "Marketing" Point of
View
ALL NEW -- The software is not compatible with previous versions.
ADVANCED DESIGN --
Upper management doesn't understand it.
BREAKTHROUGH -- It
nearly booted on the first try.
NEW -- It comes in
different colors from the previous version.
DESIGN SIMPLICITY
-- It was developed on a shoe-string budget.
EXCLUSIVE -- We're
the only ones who have the documentation.
FIELD TESTED -- Manufacturing
doesn't have a test system.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION
-- All parameters are hard coded.
FUTURISTIC -- It
only runs on the next-generation supercomputer.
HIGH ACCURACY --
All the directories compare.
IT'S HERE AT LAST
-- We've released a 26-week project in 48 weeks.
MAINTENANCE FREE
-- It's impossible to fix.
MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS
-- It compiles without errors.
PERFORMANCE PROVEN
-- It works through beta test.
REVOLUTIONARY --
The disk drives go round and round.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
-- We'll send you another copy if it fails.
STOCK ITEM -- We
shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably.
UNMATCHED -- It's
almost as good as the competition.
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE
-- Nothing ever ran this slow before.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
-- We finally got one to work.
Thanks
to http://officediversions.com
