Crates
to go...
He
gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates
and suitcases.
On
the second day, she had movers come and collect her things.
On
the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining-room table by candlelight, put on some soft background
music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and
a bottle of Chardonnay.
When
she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited
a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow
of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When
the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They
tried everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place
out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam
cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators
were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had
to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace
the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing
worked. People stopped coming over to visit...repairmen refused
to work in the house...the maid quit...finally, they could not
take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A
month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and
eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally,
they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase
a new place.
The
ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told
her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and
said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing
to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house
back...
Knowing
his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...but
only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed,
and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A
week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home...including the curtain rods.
Thanks
to www.netfunny.com
