Evaluation
Time
For everyone who
has ever had an evaluation - just remember it could have been
worse. These are actual quotes taken from federal government employee
performance evaluations.
1. "Since my
last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started
to dig."
2. "I would
not allow this employee to breed."
3. "This employee
is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't
be."
4. "Works well
when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
5. "When he
opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
6. "This young
lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets
low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them."
8. "This employee
is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee
should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."
10. "Got a full
6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
11. "A gross
ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
12. "He doesn't
have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
14. "I would
like to go hunting with him sometime."
15. "He's been
working with glue too much."
16. "He would
argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings
a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his
IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19. "If you
see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
20. "A photographic
memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime
candidate for natural de-selection."
22. "Donated
his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are
down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
24. "He's got
two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for
it."
25. "If he were
any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
26. "If you
give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
27. "If you
stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "It's hard
to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
29. "One neuron
short of a synapse."
30. "Some drink
from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
31. "Takes him
2 hours to watch 60-minutes."
32. "The wheel
is turning, but the hamster is dead.
http://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokebox/jibjab/id/56506/jokeid/33843
